Wednesday, October 13, 2010

funi thing.

Life is so funny. I look at where i've been and where i want to be and where i am. Things change so much and yet nothing really means anything. The only life we have is what we make of the one we've made. The relationships i had a year ago are so different than the relationships i have now. The friends i thought would never leave are gone and the people who are still here for me were met by happenstance. Everything from my house to my friends to my job were never foreseen and i know that there is no predicting where life will be in another year, little lone 10 or 15 or 50. There's no telling what kind of person i'll be when i'm 100.... and i don't even want to live that long.

Life is so funny. The way we expect our life to turn out a certain way and the way we think we will want the same things forever. Im a different person from a year ago or especially from two years ago. . . I only wonder who i'll be next year or even 6 months from now. I know there will be pain and i know there will be joy. I've lost my innocence in life and that is something i will never have again, but i wonder what effect those lessons will have on the rest of my life. What kind of mistakes will i make? What kind of lessons will i learn? Will there ever be another love? will i achieve my ambitions? will i be great or will i remain just a footprint in the sand? I know from my past and my present that my future is unforeseeable. I only pray it will be good. All i can do is pray that i will be wise. whether by hardship or by grace i can only pray that my life ends with wisdom. everything up until that moment.... it doesn't really matter.

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