Saturday, February 28, 2009

The deed is done.

I wish i could have seen Hooper's reaction when she got my voicemail yesterday afternoon. "We need to talk at steak N Shake"

It was unofficial St. Patty's yesterday and while i've never been a big drinker and the earliest i've drank is maybe 9pm, i decided to make this one a bang. It wasn't even 9 am when i arrived at Torfs. The plan was to drink and then go to class. I didn't make it to class. Torf didn't make it down the hall to class. The red puke that he left smeared down the halls is now the talk of the town. Brian brought me home from torfs and it wasn't long after that that i decided i needed some steak N. Shake. I wish someone would have stopped me [no one needs to be going to steak N' shake when they've had alcohol in their system] but i know that the truth is it was no ones responsability but my own. I didn't even make it to place my order. Ok. I don't think it would be apropriate for me to carry on the story here [drunks at steak N shake are not always a discussing matter] so i'm going to con't on a more private blog. Just take note that we need to talk at steak N. Shake

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ground 9

There was a time that I knew everyone. Everywhere I went I never met someone I didn’t know. I loved that. Now, I still have my name… Everyone still knows what I’m famous for, but it’s not quite like it used to be. I mean, I guess it’s nice to have a little more privacy [after all, that is what I wanted] but I meant from the fame, not from my “friends”. I guess I knew that not all of them were actually my friends, but it was still nice to always have someone to actually talk to. .. I liked to think that they were friends and not just fans, but now I’m starting to see how wrong I actually was. Not that anyone ignores me, its just different to be like everyone else. …. Wow, now I sound cocky or power hungry or something – but it’s not like that. … Its not the fame that I miss [ everyone thinking they know me isn’t that much fun] I guess it’s that scene that I miss… I miss it when people actually listened to me. Not that no one ever argued with me or anything, but when they did I still had my reputation backing me up or it was just a friendly disagreement… I’m not used to people actually thinking I’m stupid or don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m not used to actually having to take people’s attitudes.. I guess its worth having my own life back, but its something I have to get used to. Fame isn’t a permanent thing; you wount always have a list of invitations waiting. People still know my name, but they’ve forgotten about me. Now I can finally take a step forward and think about my life and what I want to make of it.


Alcohol has never been a big favorite of mine, but lately I’ve been fancying a drink here and there.. You know, a glass of wine once a week, maybe a beer with my lunch. Today, it’s wine. Tomorrow I may have a beer… none of that drunk-college kid stuff, just a drink once a week or so. It’s responsible.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Two colored eyes.

I told you he’s got beautiful eyes. Eyes that encapture me in the world within them. They make me forget about everything around me.. every worry, every fear. It doesn’t matter that she’s not my friend anymore, doesn’t matter that I lost my job or that school really sucks. He tells me about his class and I count the colors in his eyes. More than just shade of green or blue, There’s brown in there too. The world turns around us but in the center of it all is him and me, eye to eye I can’t tear myself away from those colors, fading into one another. Always beautiful whether brown or green, they both hold sparkles of the ocean. Mezmerized by his touch I can’t tear myself away from this world, a world I know will never be mine. I’ve already told him I’m not going to fall in love. Today I can ignore it all. I can look into those pools of color and know that today it doesn’t matter.

This is the speed of awsomeness

two of them were my roommate's the cruiser is mine, the car is hoopers (i was using it at the time) and his car isn't pictured.... Good thing that parking lot is never full

Valentine's day

I just realized that i forgot to give Brian due credit. He took my breath away on Febuary 14th.

I got dressed up. I wasn't really sure if i needed to or not, but after several minutes considering it i decided that it would surfice since i had failed at coming up with a creative gift for him. It was the perfect occasion for that little black dress. I pulled out the high heels and coated my lashes with that black liquid. A loose bun was an elegant look and as i was dabbing on the sweet delicatcey to my wrist, Brian arrived, dressed in a button up collared top. He looked mighty fine and the musky sent that he brought was enough to make my knees shake.
He Started the night right by opening the car door, but that was only the pretty name tag on the night. Grilled steak, Baked potatoes, and peas were on the main course and for desert - Ice cream.... topped with a pretty bow. He even went as far as candles.
To top the night off was the card. Hand made, just the way i like it.
Brian did an excelent job of making me feel like a lady, he also made me respect the holiday a bit more than i had before.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

going crazy with time

I’m gonna need a job sooner than March 16th! All I do right now is eat and eat because I have nothing to do… I go to school and I coach, but on Tue and Thur I have absolutely nothing until 5. I can’t do this. I am so board! I have abosolutly nothing to do. In march I will start coaching more, but even then it’s only from 9 -2 so I will still have 2 – 6 open every day. I guess I will be using that time to work out and donate plasma. … I’m thinking I may start volunteering at the tanning salon. That would be ok. It’s 4 hours a week and I would get free tanning. I think I’m gonna try to do that. … That could actually be kind of fun.

Monday, February 23, 2009


Life Center

I got another job finally! I start the week after spring break and it will be Tue and Thur from 9 - 2 which is 10 hours a week - that is EXACTLY what i was needing! I am stoked that i will be financially comfortable again!

Paulie Bleeker

Paulie Bleeker and Juno McGruff. Those are gonna be my girble's names : ) . . . now watch them both be boys. lol

Pizza's ready!

Right now I don’t really have enough hours… I lost one of my jobs – the one at the rec, lifeguarding. As so right now I have basicly no food in my apt. I have come up with quite the interesting recipies. Today I decided to make a pizza… Well. I was defently not hoping for the best. I didn’t have yeast for the dough and I had no pizza sauce or meat sauce or anything so I used salsa and parmasan cheese and alfredo sauce. I have quite a few spices that I used also [some chille/pepper and some other spice that I’ve never heard of] I even set off the smoke detector : ) but it actually didn’t turn out half bad. The crust turned out really well and the sauce crusted over so over all it really was quite successful considering all….. It could have been better, it doesn’t quite look right. But I guess I can’t complain about how it looks if it taste edible.

…. speaking of edible and recipies: I came up with a recipie for oatmeal bars…. Its just like those hiddenvalley bars that they used to give us at camp!

I tell you what – I hate it when I don’t have all the ingredients that I need to make something, but I am for sure proud of myself over the past couple days, I’ve really done well at making due : )

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Jerimy. 2 years

Wow. It doesn't seem like that long ago that we were supposed to have coffee... I'll never forget those plans. One day - when i get there - we're gonna have that coffee. ok?

It still seems so surearl. When something like that happens you move on, you adapt, you learn to live with it, and you keep living; but you never really get used to it, never really get over it.

New additions

I got two gerbils today : ) Brian and I were gonna buy rats or mice, but my parents only had one cage and then we went to go buy the rats they had two gerbils [cage and all] on the adoption shelf – I guess somebody didn’t want them anymore and so they were just giving them away. .. Now I have two gerbils… And a cage and everything so if so happens to them I still have a nice cage. I still don’t have names picked out… I’m gonna work on that.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I like Brian, one reason i still need a job

I didn’t say anything, but I just want him to hold me forever.

The job hunt is not going so well . … I have found a way to survive, but no one is showing much interest. Tomorrow I will go check up with my apps. And turn in some more. . . fast food here I come. I just want a job so I can take him out for once. I miss being able to treat other people. I can’t wait to cook him dinner and buy my kids candy and pick up the tab for my friends. . . I cant stand not being able to make them feel special.

school is NOT cool!

If I’m staying in Carbondale next year, do I need to take summer classes?

I think I’m gonna get my cosmentology lisence next year. I can’t stand class. . . . I hate these stupid classes that I have no interest in. I don’t think I can take one more science or math class and not go crazy. So heres to stupid clases. Cosmotology here I come.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Lets hang out at the stop sign

but seriously. . . it's the new cool place.

Valentines day is tomorrow. Blah! In the past I didn’t like this holiday and everyone assumed it was because I was single. . the truth is that I hate the color pink, I’m not really sappy, and in my eyes its just an excuse to spend money and eat junk food.

Now I have a boyfriend and I still dislike this holiday. I hate everything about it. . and I hate the way it makes single girls feel [even if I’m not one of them]

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


My computer is messed up again! This time they made things easier by letting me mail it in. . . hopefully they’ll get things right the first time and I’ll have my computer back by next week. Until then I’m tough out of luck – and computerless.

Monday, February 09, 2009


It feels like summer time. that's all you need to know.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

on the search

i applied for jobs. i picked up an application from puka [a daycare] and turned one in at golds, gospleland, and the gas station on the corner.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Beautiful eyes

Good morning. wake up and stretch but not before i see your beautiful eyes. they were the last things i saw before dreaming faded into conciousness. and now the first thing to fill my vision before day dreaming fills each moment. I love your voice and the touch of your skin. When nothing is said and an entire room fills the space between us all i need are your beautiful eyes.

"The window to the soul is through the eyes." -back from the dusk.


kind of lame, but for some reason i found i like it : Love

Vortex this

Today we test glucose and starch.

Carrots, potatoes, pasta, and apples. Iodine and Benedicts solutions. Place test tube in boiling water and then place in vortex gene.

Let me start over:

Bio 100. school sucks!

That's what i meant.