Tuesday, April 24, 2007

social boundries

Every body has their aspirations and goals weather they be love or changing the world everybody has theirs. Often times poetry can be a window into the soul and sometimes that window can show their heart’s deepest desires. My deepest aspiration is to praise God. I love God; he has become the love of my life. I want every moment of my life to be for my God. I don't want to live an ordinary and expected life. I don't want to conform to what others expect of me. I don't want to live a safe or useless life. I want to do what others dream and dream of that which others believe undreamable. I want to go where others fear and fear what others expect. I want to take risks and live dreams. My deepest and strongest Goal is to be true to myself and help others learn who they really are.
Kids grow up being told that they can only be certain things. I want to do what others believe impossible. I don't want to be held in by what others tell me are attainable. In every society the people are told what is possible and impossible. In our society we are told how we should act and what we should wear and were we should go. We are looked down upon for being different and judged for being unique. We are expected to be simple and confirmative. Anyone who plays out his or her own style is judged as rebellious. Exotic colored hair is riotous, bright statement fashion is unruly, and new piercings are wayward. Why do we fear that which is different? why do we judge those who are individual? Why do we make assumptions on that which we don't know?
I want to go outside what is expected and set new boundaries. People have always made assumptions; even in Jesus’ life people were judging. Throughout his life he was judged as bad and as an outcast. People judged him for doing miracles; they judged him for doing that which was considered rebellious, such as talking with partiers and going against the set rules. In Angelou’s “Still I rise” she talks about those who don’t agree with her simply because she doesn’t conform and do things the way the world thinks she should. She doesn’t let those who judge her decide who she can and can’t be. She stays true to herself and takes pride in who she is.
God gave me the gift of life and I want to thank him by enjoying it and enjoying it for him. I want to take risks and put my own life on the line for him. I don't know if I will live long or die young, but I hope that I die for God. I want to out step boundaries that have been set and expectations that have been formed. I want to show others that people are different. I want to live my life so fully and so extremely that my testament for God will be just as extreme. I will give my life for God because I am thankful for the life that he has given me. I don't want to live an ordinary life; I don't want to live a simple life. I will be judged by the self-righteous and persecuted by the modern Pharisees. The religious will look me on as rebellious. I will not live a normal life; I will not be the same as those who judge me. I don't care. Who are they to make me feel unworthy? Who are they to label me? Who are they to say whether I look the right way to be loved by God? Only God can label me and only God can judge me. I will be who I am and I am a worshiper of God, the lord almighty. I don't need the approval of others because I am living my life for the God of Abraham and Isaac. I know that Jesus gave his life for me and it is because of that that I will continue living an extreme life. In “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost, he talks about taking the narrow road, the road that few go down. The path I have chosen in life is also narrow. I don’t care if I will be judged, I am going to stay true to myself and continue worshiping God even when the world judges me for it.
Every day we see so many people. I bet we see hundreds of people every day. And we judge every one of them. We judge the bum on the corner with his cardboard sign. We judge the rebel with his blue hair and facial piercings. We judge the altruistic business lady that we pass on the street with her high priced suite. We think the bum is worthless and the rebel is dangerous and the altruistic is snobby. We judge everyone we come into contact with. We think that we, and those like us, are the only ones who are good and safe. In “Seeker Of Truth” by E. E. Cummings, she says that the only path that she wants to be on no path except truth. I want to show people the truth in differences. Does anyone ever consider the other viewpoint? That man who lost everything trying to give hope to the homeless felt shamed when he saw the look of disgust from every passer buyer. The Artistic teen who spent his entire life savings to help under privileged kids in the inner-city learn to express their hurt and experience through art knew that every eye judged him in his differences. The hard working Professor who strived to teach every student what it means to think for themselves and make a difference in the world; She dreamt of this since she was a child even when others told her that her dreams were not achievable for her as a homeless child. Every day we pass hundreds of people. Every day we judge every one of them. Every day we miss judge the majority. We judge by what we see, we never think to look beyond what we can see. We never dream of the potential that people can have. We never think that the people we judge may be one that has made a difference or has attempted to change the world and possibly succeeded. We judge. Often times we tell those that are different that their dreams are useless. We tell them that their aspirations are foolish. We tell them that their life is pointless. Many times those strangers will listen. They will give up their possibilities because the world around them judged them wrong. Don’t let those who say it can’t be done interrupt you when you are doing it because often times the world around us does not know the difference between possible and impossible. Don’t refuse to attempt something just because it is impossible because often times the possible will not work either. You may fail, but how will you know what success feels like if that is all you experience and you never fail? You may fail, but you will never fly if you if you don’t first take a leap of faith. The world will always tell you that your dreams are foolish, but you can’t let that be your deciding factor because your ship will never get you out of the harbor if you don’t take hold of the wheel.
I don’t care what other people think of me. I want to be true to myself so that I can give God praise to the fullest. I want to step out side the boundaries even when I am being judged and persecuted for it. I love expression and I believe that these poets have done an excellent job of expressing their perseverance and the dreams that they have over come. Many people are judged and many people base their goals on judgments. Much like these poets, I will not let other people and their judgments detour me from my goals.

The Road Not Taken

• Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
• And sorry I could not travel both
• And be one traveler, long I stood
• And looked down one as far as I could
• To where it bent in the undergrowth;
• Then took the other, as just as fair,
• And having perhaps the better claim,
• Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
• Though as for that the passing there
• Had worn them really about the same,
• And both that morning equally lay
• In leaves no step had trodden black.
• Oh, I kept the first for another day!
• Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
• I doubted if I should ever come back.
• I shall be telling this with a sigh
• Somewhere ages and ages hence:
• Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
• I took the one less traveled by,
• And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
-Maya Angelou

seeker Of Truth

seeker of truth

follow no path
all paths lead where

truth is here

-E. E. Cummings


In my youth i was opposed to school.
And now, again, Im opposed to work.
Above all it is health And righteousness that I hate the most.
Theres nothing so cruel to man As health and honesty. 
Of course Im opposed to the Japanese spirit 
And duty and human feeling make me vomit. 
Im against any government anywhere 
And show my bum to authors and artists circles.
When Im asked for what I was born,
Without scruple, Ill reply, To oppose.
When Im in the east I want to go to the west. 
I fasten my coat at the left, my shoes right and left. 
My hakama I wear back to front and I ride a horse facing its buttocks. What everyone else hates I like 
And my greatest hate of all is people feeling the same.
This I believe: to oppose Is the only fine thing in life. 
To oppose is to live.
To oppose is to get a grip on the very self. 

-Kaneko Mitsuharu 1895-1975 
Translated by Geoffrey Bownas and Anthony Thwaite

For the young who want to

Talent is what they say 
you have after the novel 
is published and favorably 
reviewed. Beforehand what 
you have is a tedious 
delusion, a hobby like knitting. 

Work is what you have done
after the play is produced
and the audience claps.
Before that friends keep asking
when you are planning to go
out and get a job. 

Genius is what they know you 
had after the third volume 
of remarkable poems. Earlier
they accuse you of withdrawing, 
ask why you don't have a baby, 
call you a bum. 

The reason people want M.F.A.'s, 
take workshops with fancy names 
when all you can really 
learn is a few techniques, 
typing instructions and some- 
body else's mannerisms 

is that every artist lacks 
a license to hang on the wall 
like your optician, your vet
proving you may be a clumsy sadist 
whose fillings fall into the stew 
but you're certified a dentist. 

The real writer is one
who really writes. Talent
is an invention like phlogiston
after the fact of fire.
Work is its own cure. You have to
like it better than being loved. 

-Marge Piercy

Expect Nothing

Expect nothing. Live frugally
On surprise.
become a stranger
To need of pity
Or, if compassion be freely
Given out Take only enough
Stop short of urge to plead
Then purge away the need. 

Wish for nothing larger
Than your own small heart
Or greater than a star;
Tame wild disappointment
With caress unmoved and cold
Make of it a parka For your soul. 

Discover the reason why
So tiny human midget
Exists at all
So scared unwise
But expect nothing.
Live frugally
On surprise.

- Alice Walker

For the One Man Who Likes My Thighs

There was the expensive cream from France 

that promised the dimples would vanish 

if applied nightly to the problem spots. 

Then, when that didn't work, Kiko, the masseuse 

at Profile Health Spa, dug her thumbs 

deep into my flesh as she explained 

in quasi-scientific terms that her rough hands 

could break up the toughest globules of cellulite. 

I screamed, then bruised over, but nothing 

else happened. When they healed, my legs still looked 

like tapioca pudding. There was the rolling pin method 

I tried as far back as seventh grade, 

kneading my lumpy legs as though I was making bread. 

Cottage Cheese Knees, Thunder Thighs -- 

I heard it all -- under the guise of teasing, 

under the leaky umbrella mistaken for affection. 

I learned to choose long dresses 

and dark woolen tights, clam diggers instead of short-shorts, 

and, when I could get away with it, skirted bathing suits. 

The nutritionist said that maybe Royal Jelly tablets 

would break up the fat. I drank eight glasses 

of water everyday for a month. I ate nothing 

but steak for a week. I had to take everyone's advice, 

fearing that if I didn't, my thighs 

would truly be all my own fault. Liposuction 

cost too much. The foil sweat-it-out 

shorts advertised in the back of Redbook 

didn't work. Swimming, walking in place, leg lifts. 

It's embarrassing, especially being a feminist. 

I wondered if Andrea Dworkin had stopped worrying, 

and how. If Gloria Steinem does aerobics,
claiming it's just for her own enjoyment. 

Then I read in a self-help book: 

if you learn to appreciate your thighs, they'll appreciate 

you back. Though it wasn't romance at first sight,
I did try to thank my legs for carrying me up nine flights 

the day when the elevator at work was out; 

for their quick sprint that propelled me 

through the closing doors of the subway 

so that I wouldn't be late for a movie; 

for supporting my nieces who straddled, one 

on each thigh, their heads burrowing deep into my lap. 

I think, in fact, that it was at that moment 

of being an aunt I forgot for an instant 

about my thigh dilemma and began, more fully,

as they say, enjoying my life. So when it happened later 

that I fell in love, and as a bonus, 

the man said he liked my thighs, I shouldn't have been 

so thoroughly surprised. At first I was sure I'd misheard -- 

that he liked my eyes, that he had heard someone else sigh, 

or that maybe he was having a craving for french fries. 

And it wasn't very easy to nonchalantly say oh, thanks 

after I'd made him repeat. I kept asking 

if he was sure, then waiting for a punch 

line of some mean-spirited thigh-related joke. 

I ran my fingers over his calf, brown and firm, 

with beautiful muscles waving down the back. 

It made no sense the way love makes no sense. 

Then it made all the sense in the world. 

Denise Duhamel

Saturday, April 14, 2007

love within God's love

Believe it and Be Satisfied
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and reservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united
With Me alone,
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
One that you cannot imagine.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.
Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.
Don't look at the things you think you want;
You just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then when you are ready,
I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any
You could dream of.
You see, until you are ready and until
The one I have for you is ready
(I am working even at this moment to have you both ready at the same time),
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that
Exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is the perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your
Relationship with Me,
And to enjoy materially and concretely
The everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love
That I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love utterly.
I Am God.
Believe it and be satisfied.

*i found this on a friend's page


How do you explain emotions, feelings?
I barely know what I myself am feeling.
I know that I care for him more than anything in this world.
I want to know him more.
I want to know his problems.
I tell him it will turn out just fine.
I yearn to answer all his questions.
I yearn to give him love and fix his predicaments.
I want to show him my feelings but I know that I must wait.
I must wait for God and I must wait for him.
I want so badly to go to him, show him my affection.
I know that I cannot.
I cannot tell him how I feel.
I do not know everything about him.
I do not know all of his problems.
I do not know all of his questions.
I cannot give him all of my love or fix every problem.
I must wait.
I must wait for his love.
I must wait for God.
He has almost become my best friend.
He is the one I think of.
He is the one that makes me smile.
He is the one that listens to me.
He has his focus on the one thing in life that matters – God.
He has passion for the almighty.
I do not know what will come.
I do not know if I am hearing God clearly now.
I do not know if my heart will break.
That is a chance I am must take.
I wait.
I wait for God.
I wait for him.
I wait for his love.
I wait.

The perfect man.

Where is he? Where is my love?
I know love hurts, I can deal with that if it means that I will be with him.
I care for him so much and yet he still does not know.
I want to tell him, but he is the one that scares me.
I am so comfortable with what I know, and scared of what I don’t know.
I don’t know what will happen and that scares me.
I have waited for him and now I am ready.
How long will must I wait, how long will I wait?
I care for him so much and I yearn to show him.
I want him to love me in the way that I love him.
Will he ever love me? Is it possible. Is love between us possible?
The perfect man is what I yearn for, I know that is who God will bring me to.
Is he the perfect man? Or is my waiting worthless?
When is it time to move on? How long must I yearn before I give up?
I care for him so much. Does he even have the slightest clue?
I am ready. I wait. I yearn.
I will continue loving him because I care for him too much to give up.

Waiting to love that man.

I know that I like that man.
Could it be love that I have?
What is love? Who am I to say what is or not?
He is my best friend, the one I run to and support.
I could live and die for this man
I think of him as much as anyone.
I enjoy his company. I want his accompaniment.
His focus is the same as mine, our God is one and same.
I could not out step my boundries
I could make no move
I wait on God, my lord; I wait to be a gift.
I want to be his gift, a gift to him from God.
I have waited and I have prayed and now my time is ready.
I am waiting and wait. I want to love this man.
I know that my role is not come and I must wait again.
I want to love this man, but I know that I must wait.
How long must I wait? I wait to love this man.
I wait to be his gift.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


Omnipotent. all powerfull. You are my savior who has given me life.
I love you and worship you. Humbly I bow at your feet to give you the praise you deserve.
My savior. My lord. And the love of my life you are.
When I am weak you are my strength; when I am alone you are my friend. you are the rock that I will live my life apon.
You are my love, you are my friend. You are the one I will live my life around.
God, you’ve given me life, you’ve given me hope, you show me love that not one could express.
I will give you my crowns, I will give you my love, I will give you my life that you first gave me.
How can I express how much you deserve
You deserve so much more than any could give.
My love is too weak, my world is too small, and my life is too broken to fill your worth.
Omnipotent, all powerful. Lord with my love I give you my crowns and fall at your feet.