Saturday, December 31, 2011

welcome to our world twent.12.

Wow.  Another year over. 
I used to think that a year was such a long time but I’ve learned that
One year will go by quickly ; I MUST act NOW if I want to live the kind of life I've always wanted.
The past year has been full of healing and moving forward.  I’ve defently learned that spontaneity should never be frowned upon.

I’ve made some of the best decisions of my life in 2011 (every one of them being spontanious).  Now I’m looking forward to twent.12

looking back at my 2011 to do list:
Try new drinks (check)
Go skydiving (check check)
Make more cards
Be care free
Design more (look at my new house and you’ll know this is a check)
Practice all the hobbies I’ve taken up and never followed up on (I think I’ll carry this to twenty.12)
Be more selfless (just slightly, but check)
Write more notes ( I would also like to carry this one on)
Stop worring about boys that don’t love me (check x 3 : )  yay to be married.
Do something new every month (not so sure this was EVERY month, but pretty close to)

For the most part I can say my 2011 was successful.  Skydiving would be the one I had the least faith to succeed (I can thank my husband for that check)  and my most successful and healthy achievement would be the boys.  They have been my most painfull experiences in life and while the past year has been full of healing, my husband is the best decision that I’ve made in my life.  and while it might not have been on my to do list, i think i have been MUCH better at blogging this year (not near as much venting, and quite a few more design and inspired posts)

With that I suppose I need to be ready for twenty.12.  

I've had some real difficulty thinking of goals for such a short time period. I almost wish i could have a 5 yr resolution list (student loans paid 1/2 way in 3 yrs.  Then a baby and a house.... )   
after deep concentration: 

#1: I want to keep from last year: practice past hobbies
this wasn't very successful last year, but they're hobbies i don't ever want to forget

#2:  and i want to also keep: write more notes  
this is a long begotten and best way to show someone you care

#3: Know where i'm going but love where i'm at.
obviously i don't have a problem knowing where i'm going, but i have a tendency of getting caught up in where i want to be and forgetting to enjoy where i'm at.  Hey beemo, Let's just relax and have fun, mmmmkay? 

#4:  New years kiss
all of my 23 years and ive still never had one... well this year is a year of moving forward and now that i'm married i expect a new years kiss tonight :)

Monday, December 12, 2011

more like a child

I feel like i haven't let out a vent in a while and right now i am fuming for one....

I am on the hunt for a new church.  The past 5 years i have been in love with my church because of their down to earth sense of the bible and yet pure love of God but they have their flaws and this past sunday, they topped them all.....   They kicked the guy next to me out because his son was being too noisy (i was able to worship just fine with his few noises here and there)

They were fine the entire service and i enjoyed making faces at the kid.  Worship time came around and about 5 min until the end 0f service the kid started getting bored.  He really wasn't that noisy, but just a little.  As the lady in front of us started shooting rude glances at the dad (who looked single and young), my blood started heating but i remained calm.  2 songs from the end, one of the higher up members came over and asked the man to leave due to his son.

I was heated.  When the member came to explain to me, i was so beside myself with grief that the comfort of my husband was all that could hold me together.

There is a story of church that was packed to the brim and a rough, barefoot man walked in.  When he realized there was no seating he walked about half way down the isle and sat down in the floor.   The church was silent, waiting to see what the decons reaction would be.  As the oldest decon in the church began making his way towards the man, you could of heard a pin drop.  Once the decon reached the man, he removed his shoes and sat down next to him and the service resumed.

I am beside myself with the church that i've loved.

The idea that a church so pronounced on spreading love would kick a guy out for simply being too noisy ( did i mention that everyone surounding us were members and therefor should have been understanding) is too much for me to handle.

There have been several small things that have kept pushing me, but this is too much.  I can't handle this.
My gift is compassion and empathy and i just could NOT bear this. ..  I garantee he will not be back, and i garantee i will not be back either.

What tears me apart even more is that this is the church that i have been in love with.

and now it's time to begin shopping.... for a new church.
Wish me luck.

Saturday, December 03, 2011

a guy, a girl, and a house

I've come to realize that it's not a matter of how much stuff you have but how it's stored.
My husband has lived in this one bedroom house for quite some time, now there are two of us and twice the stuff.  we've both gotten rid of quite a bit, but it still just didn't quite fit.  Until now.  between boxes and shelves i've become a believer that you can fit just about anything into quite a small space with the right finagiling... or a lot of organizing per say.  With the right jars and boxes, even clutter can look beautiful.

Friday, December 02, 2011

good morning beautiful cup of coffee

Like most people, i didn't discover coffee until  my college years.  Not that i was some over achiever or even a hard studier, i just didn't like it until then.  I always loved the smell of coffee and about high school i began to like coffee flavored things but it wasn't until i was about 20 years old that i realized that with the right toppings i could even like coffee.... that enjoyment keeps growing.  I doubt i will ever enjoy it black (unless out of desperation) but i do enjoy coffee now.  The different flavors, the different types of brewing, the different creamers or other flavors you can put into it.  I suppose it's like wine or beer or even perfume.  The common person can enjoy it but then you can take it to another level also if you like... and the more you look at it and examine what you're partaking in and the more you variety you try, the more you actually appreciate it.  

I've always been an automatic machine type person until i dated someone with a french press.  Now i'm married to a man with a perculator.....   and just used it for the first time. (yay for me.) Just tell me what kind you'd fancy and ill brew you up a cup :) 

I like mine with 2 splashes of creamer.  3 if it's a big cup.

Point of story:  i really love my coffee.  

Thursday, December 01, 2011

happily ever after

No relationship is ever perfect and flawless, but no matter where my mirrage goes, it will be happily ever after.

I look back to when i met my husband and i was inlove with my first heartbreak. 
I look back to when we first dated and i know how blind i was to the world.
I look back to a year ago and i was just getting over my second heart break.

I look back to a week ago and i thank God that Flordia didn't work out for me. 
I thank God that i my ex broke my heart.
I thank God for unanswered prayers..
.... it's like my sister said once back in high school "don't make plans for your future because the plans God has might be way better than we could ever imagine planning for ourselves. 

If i had gotten married when i wanted to or to who i thought i was supposed to marry i don't think i would have ever been as happy as i am no and i, with out a doubt, wouldn't have appreitiated it as much as i do now that i've seen the pain of the world. 

My Husband and i will one day fight over something and having children is going to be more trying than our puppy, CHarli, but it will be worth it.  

This is my happily ever after. 

These are my boys and i would go to the ends of the earth just to put a fool in their place for them. 
This is my family and i love it just the way we are :)

perfume de my bed room.

It wasn't long ago that i mentioned the slight increase of interest in fragrance by the fashion industry.  Maybe i just slipped over it in the past or maybe there really is a rise in appeal.  
As the first article (one about perfume and France women, written by a lady in GLAMOUR) caught my eye, i began to realize how feminine fragrance really is... and not the chauvinist kind but the strong and independent kind of feminine.   Think about your grandma's vanity or the old black and white movies and this is what you picture:

note the bottles and bottles of fragrances?  

Now i can't help but be pulled into the allure or seduction and definition. 
I went on a hunt for my sent which turned out to be Reb'l Fleur by Barbadian singer Rihanna for now.  Of course as we age the definition of who we are changes and i am looking forward to the change of my sent as part of that adventure.  

What i couldn't let go of once i decided on a perfume is the excitment of every sample despite my own smell.   
Now, my collection will never look like this:

A) Because there is nothing classy or elegant about this picture.  B) Because I do know that i would be able to decide on a sent every morning.  C) I'm not even sure i would be able to remember which is what. 

However, as my collection grows it has gone from one bottle to something more like what i would actually see on my grandmother's vanity:

To support my new leisure pursuit:  My sister.  Maybe not my biological sister (i haven't heard from her since she moved to ohio some time ago) but my sister in law (yeah, she's pretty awesome)  At one point i was concerned that maybe she thought i smelt bad due to her input into my vanity collection.  What really impresses me is her ability to pick out a good sent.  I don't know if she just has excellent opinion or if she's really good at pegging my own opinion but the smells that she has gifted to me have all been delectable.   

Now i have my signiture sent and smells for every day that i feel like changing things up.