Cinco de mayo

Well.   I think I still want to marry will.  But I CAN NOT do this to myself.  I can’t allow myself to fall inlove with him again.  I can’t bear another break off and I can’t allow myself to marry someone who will never be decisive.  My parents keep asking me if I really want to marry someone who will not follow through on the things they say.  And not only that – I can NOT get the image of him yelling at me from across the street out of my head.

I think it might be the idea of being married that is more appealing than being married to him … . I want to be taken care of and charrished.  I want to know that I have a loving husband to come home to and take care of.    But It’s not worth being hurt again.    So I’ve got 2 months and I’m off to the big city.   I can’t wait to see another life.