Friday, December 03, 2010

3 things that I’m super excited about:

A) Lily White Designs.  
·      She is freaking cute.
·      Her style is freaking cute.
·      She has a great moral backing
·      She sticks to her moral backing
·      Her moral backing is loving jesus
·      She has a style that rocks
If I wear a shirt that has Jesus’s name… I wouldn’t be able to have premarital sex or get drunk in public or anything else that really wouldn’t make jesus look good.  . . . I shouldn’t be able to do those things anyway, but if a passer byer saw me sinning with Jesus’s name it would look bad on him…..  I love the fact that there are still pure girls living in God’s name daily.  I think it is beautiful and it gives me hope.  The girls that can rock Jesus’s name are my heroes.

B)  I can get internet at the train station (less than 200 yards from my house)
·      I can keep my social network flowing.
·      I can keep my blog update and moving forward.
·      I can keep my inspiration bucket full
I’m super stoked to be able to keep everything updated daily as well as being able to follow my blogging friends closer (which means more inspiration and more ideas which both = better blogging for me)

·      Actually having money
·      Being able to do things with friend more
·      Buy a car (ooh I hate cold)
·      Purchase better tools for my blog
I’m super stoked to have a job. .  If I get a camera I can take more pictures which always inspire blogging, along with I will have money to do things (which also always inspire blogging)  ex.  I can go skydiving or buy clothes to experiement with or try more “behind the bar” things (which also = more blogs).  So basicly having a job will = better blogging. Lol.  I’m really looking forward to getting somewhere in life. 

I’m pretty much having a mid-life crisis right now.   The good thing is that hope is shinning through.  Id gotten to the point I didn’t really trust god.  Not because of faith in general but because of the first heart break I’d ever had - - due to trusting god.   This time around, I’ve hit rock bottom – but this time around God has taken so many little things and put them in spots that I can’t ignore.   2nd heart ache – it’s a combonation between loosing a child and losing the father of my child… but when the barrel of the gun looms god took my fearlessness and then he gave me girls that I don’t really relate to and things that I could live with out and hope that I wasn’t looking for. 

It was love and heart ache that made me distrust god and it is love and heart ache that will make me love him all over again.

I’m not saying I wont mess up or slip back to be horrible, but I feel like I can love god again – I mean really love him.  After all, he’s all I have left.

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