Thursday, December 23, 2010

old crush reflamed?

2006 I Started life guarding at the rec center.   There was one guy that worked there that was mature and responsible.  He was handsome and still very fun.  At the time I was still very anti-crushing.  Don't get me wrong, there were a few guys that i found cool, but i didn't actually like them.  This guy was a healthy built lumber jacking type guy with a very chill but adventurous personality and i had a some-what-crush on him . . . but I'm the kind of girl to chase anyone down.

I worked there for 2 years and and never got any signal that he liked me.... especially as he shared his feelings for one of our friends to me.  It was a little crush and i got over it.

The other day, about a week ago,  I was hanging out with that same dude at the new hanger (that's a blog that is coming up super soon if you want my take on the place).   We'd hung out the day before and then made plans to hang out the next night.  The second night, this guy tries to pry out of me who i like ..... obviously I'm not going to tell him that it could possibly be him just because he shows a little bit of interest in me for once.  Eventually he pulls it out me...... correction, he finally gives up guessing and decides to take a plunge and go for gold and asks me on a date.  Definitely not what i was expecting, but i was still very stoked about it.    

Then i remembered what happens when you get excited. ..... i don't get excited about boys because boys are dumb and emotions need to be kept in check.

summary:  He's a pretty cool dude.  Dating is a good time.  No point stressing about anything.  It's all just a good time. . . . but it's a positive emotion that he's at least half way interested.

Next topic:
After 4 years…. 4 YEARS… now he decides he is interested in me.  Over the past 16  months there have been several guys that I’ve known that tell me I’m getting hotter and hotter…. Or as this guy says…. “more and more attractive,”.  Thanks guys.   I’ve liked this guy for 4 years and now that I’m “more attractive”  …. Now he decides to take interest in me (i don't actually believe that's what he's thinking, but he's the last straw after every other guy)

I’ve basically been “married” and had a baby….. “attraction” doesn’t mean much to me anymore.   I face reality a little bit more bluntly now….    I’ll go on a date with this guy because he’s freaking awesome.   Just because I have a crush on him does NOT mean that I am about to let down my guard.... which is probably good anyway because i know he's not really interested in anything serious (which is cool by me)

So I’m just saying that over the past few years I’ve changed….. I changed my look and I changed my personality and I’ve changed just about everything about me ….. 

And NOW guys decide to like me.   Not just him (he's an honest guy and he's not going to lead me on or play me over) but more over the other guys that aren't quite so mature.  How many times do i get hit on randomly now that i'm different?  Screw shallow guys.  I’ve been hurt a couple times too many to start trusting them just because they now find me attractive.   I know I have a better body and a better face and I’m WAY more confident  ….. but I’m still the same person.

I like this guy, I just think it’s funny that NOW he would choose to ask me on a date.   Like i said, i don't think he is consciously hitting on me now just because he thinks i now look better.....  but this vent isn't just inspired by him but by the conglomeration of guys that have started hitting on me in the past 16 months.  

…… just saying. . .

i’m just not that naive anymore…..
Happy dating, just get over it.
I don't really trust guys in a serious way.
.... even if i do have a slight crush on him.

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