Thursday, August 12, 2010

Bird watching

Appearently the entire world is watching me.  I suppose this is my public blog and so who ever wants to watch me can.  However, when the entire "she said that he said" thing gets going i get a little frusterated.  Who gives a horse's butt what i think.  The ONLY things that i post on this blog are inspirations and well written vents.  If i don't feel like it's random enough or well written enough or thought out enough, i don't post it on here... that's what blogs with passwords and secret names are for.  
When i was in my first small group at church i posted a blog about society and the ways it drives me mad.  The small group leader read it and talked to my sister and then the dc pastor and then the church pastor.   My small group leader thought i was talking about my small group or the church..... then the entire church was in an uproar because this blog, they thought was about them.
There are days, i will write from someone else's perspective or days i will write as the devil's advocate.  Yet people choose to take it all so seriously, as if they expect to get to know me better through this blog.   There have been times in the past when guys that like me would follow this blog, as if they could get some secret from reading it.  I guess they thought i'd be posting my serious feelings for them on a public blog that is open for anyone to read.
I'm Bee Mo.   A nobody from the middle of no where.  The fact that people read this blog, i suppose that is flattering.  It's more flattering when people i don't know send me e-mails about an entry or really want to debate something i wrote.  When people i know tell the guy next door that i posted that i want to play strip poker.... that's not so flattering because i do'nt really want to play that game at all.   Or when every guy i know reads a blog about crushes and assume that i'm talking about them and then get mad because i wount date them.... that's not so flattering because chances are that i wasn't actually talking about anyone at all but more the feeling.
My mother once told me that she had seen my facebook and was very dissapointed  and that i'd written something mean about someone on my blog.... imagine if she knew that i'd once worked at a bar or if she found out that i have went to steak n shake at 4 in the morning or that i'd slept in the same bed as a boy (even with clothes on)!  oh my goodness... heaven forrbid i grow up.
The funny thing is - i have a total of maybe a dozen pictures with a beer in them (and i'm very tame in all of them) and a picture of my tattoo.  I don't have any il tasted hobbies or comments and the only time i have written something bad about a person and mentioned them by name or defining characteristics is probably when i vent about the love of my life.  ... but my mother is just another person who uses this blog as some sort of means to keep track of me even though i am very un-trackable.

I guess it's just part of life- having stalkers and masses of groupies.  lol.  I'm not so sure what i've done to gain my audience of fans (or non-fans perhaps)  but none the less, i have people who read this and use it as their means to "knowing" me so i thought i'd just put it out there that there is way more to me than just amazing stair cases, passionate love vents, and 2nd person point of view stories.
I'm more of a "pay with cash" and "rent rooms under an allias name" sort of person.  I suppose that's why stalkers are so intreged by me and employers are through confused....

I guess it's part of something i have grown accustom to.  The part that i can't ever get over is the "well she said that" or "i read that she thought this"  oh my goodness people, grow up.  If you are offended by something i've written, that's fine but get over it.  If you think i've written something about you.... you probably shouldn't take it personally especially until you find out if i'm actually talking about you.  I don't know how many people have read something and then went to my friends or my boyfriend to disscuss it.... if you've got something to ask, just ask me.  Don't go spreading rumors or causing drama just because you're not smart enough to interpret.  
*final point:  don't try to get everyone else to interpret my blog when you're unable to do so because that will make YOU the cause of drama and imaturity.
Everyone else:  follow all you want, just be smart enough to follow the final point.

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