Wednesday, December 17, 2008

12 months

The past year has brought so much change.
I guess it's not so much that i've become a different person so much as i have finally started to become who i really always was.

Everything i am, i always was. It was just controlled in that guinni pig ball that those around me told me i had to stay in.
Oh i tried to break loose. I was just as big of a rebel then as i am now. I tried to escape the expectations and normalcies that those around me made.

The past twelve months has built callasus and walls and hard shells that i never knew could exist, but i have learned to fight and persevere. I have experienced so much that i only thought i understood.

Still now. it has all showed me how much i will never understand. . . even about myself.

I have lost friends that i thought would be here for me forever and i have made new friends that i know will leave when the time is right.
Each of these people have helped chip another piece of paint off - uncovering another inch of this masterpiece that has been covered up.

Maybe one day i will be able to sit back and look at myself and know who i really am, but right now i only know that i am God's and that when this mess has all been removed and his creation is allowed to show bright i will be beautiful.

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