Sunday, December 28, 2008

peace.love.dance

I'm sitting here in my room. Serounded by clothes and junk and hobbies. And in the midst of cleaning and sorting out junk i came across a folder. Dancing unicorns and smiling moons signed my junior high years and covered the tattered file. The papers in side bulged from the edges, letters from best friends and boyfriends and crushes. Some were filled with gossip of the latest couples and weekend plans, others held pursuits from wanna be lovers and boyfriends. One letter was joined by an envelope, yellowed by age and signed by scrawled letters that obviously belong to guy. Another was typed, something that only one boy i know would have done. I found one that was filled with concern for my eating habits and one that spelled out obvious suduction. There was a card with artistic well wishes and one with a happy little lion.
As i looked through the vellums there were so many memories; but through all of them, not a single memory that i would regret or wish to relive. Some held lessons learned and some held feelings that everyone has had but those days are gone and past. The good times and the bad, i have become who i am because of them and now i don't need them to continue on this path. I don't know why i held on to the memories, but now i am letting go. The letters that hold so much of past hold no value to me. Those are letters from people that are no longer in my life, whether we grew apart and fell apart, there is a reason that our lives are no longer crossing. So i will let go. For what ever reason that i held on to these, that reason is past. The memories and joys that are held in these jr high notes are past. and i'm ready to move on. I enjoyed passing the notes from one person to the next across the sea of students and to the shore of a friend. But now i am ready. I have grown my wings and i have become who i am meant to be. I can't hold on to the past, the past of walking, i can't hold on to memories of walking if i ever dream of flying. So here's to peace.love.dance.

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