Wednesday, April 01, 2009

meet me by the truth

Curly’s experiements were not new news to me. The whispers had passed by me in conversations. “Shes fooling around with that girl” and “she wants to date this girl.” But every conversation ended with “shh, Don’t tell Beemo. She doesn’t want her to know” Or “don’t tell Curly that I told you.” The reason she didn’t want me to know her new orientation has escaped town, but the reality is that I’m not blind enough to see past the truth.
This weekend, the truth came to the surface as one girl slipped out in casual conversation about Curly’s new girl crush.
The silence that hit the room was nerve racking. The carpeted floors could echo a pin drop as the silence echoed through the room. I didn’t even give a second thought to the casual comment until the silence hit. As I looked up from the pizza that had had my attention I saw a wave as each eye glanced my direction in a cautious look. That’s when I realized that no one had realized that the past whispers where no secret to me. They were all waiting for my questions to hit them, to erupt in a flowing stream of confusion or concern. Each one of them were waiting for my devestation at having realized that my best friend had switched the other side of the fence and left me in the dark.
They didn’t even dream of foreseeing the response they got. “It’s ok guys, I already know.” Not one of them had the slightest idea how I had found out or how I could know when Curly was still doing her best to keep it a secret from me. “She doesn’t know that I do, but I already know.”
I don’t know what they wanted to say to that, but they ended up deciding to leave it with the thought that I had been a good friend, letting her think that her secret was still safe from me, not being mad or hurt.
I don’t know why she doesn’t want me to know; but the fact is that I know, and now Most of the team knows that I know. But Curly still thinks her secret is safe and as long as she thinks it is I will not give her knowledge that it’s any other way.

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