Monday, November 30, 2009

No engagement

Sat. Will informed me that he's not ready to get married... he says i'm perfect, but he's scared. So i gave him steak N. shake [the good kind] and i've moved in a ton of stuff, no he says he's not ready.
He was the one that asked me to marry him.
He was the one that called me his wife.
he said we were already married, the papers just weren't finished.....

now he says hes not ready to get married. How do you do that someone.... what about after we are officially married, what happens if he gets scared then?? Is he going to divorce me just cause he gets scared?

I'm scared.
I'm TERRIFIED!
Should i just leave him just because i'm scared???
I hope not, but that's the message he's sending me.

Sure, i want him to be sure before we get married, but he's the one that said there's no doubt in his mind that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me..... that sounds pretty sure to me.

So he doesn't want to hurt me, little late for that. I took down every wall and every doubt and every insecurity and threw them away for him - then he does this. How could this NOT hurt?? i'm not sure how he's rationalizing this.

He knows that he's hurt my heart. He knows that he wants to marry me.... and yet he's letting his fears control his decisions... i'm not sure that i want to marry someone that's going to let their fears override someone else's feelings.

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