I want God to be my life

a summary of my last blog on cheesecake:

I want to love God like he's the only one i need.
I want to need him more than air itself.

Right behind God i need a man who wants me to love God
I need more than just someone who understands or accepts it..
I want someone who wants to love God as much as i want to love God.

It's more than just talking about God or believing in him.
I want a man who is going to call me out when i sin
and who will give it more than just a first thought when i call him out.
But the only way that's gonna work is if he has the same standards as me..

I want so badly for God to be my entire life,

A wise man once said that A woman should be so in love with God that a man has to go through God to get to her.
I want to be so in love with God.
I want him to be my every breath.
i want him to be my every want.

How do i love God?
My bf doesn't love him.
My bf doesn't even know him.

I can't have both.
I can't live two lives.

i feel like its blaspheme to even weigh the two options.