Magnificiant obsession

I hope to loose myself for good. I hope to find it in the end… not in me, in you. – Switchfoot.

I want to find myself in God.  I also want to find myself in my soon to be husband.  I know what it means to throw myself away.  What I want is no longer myself or my own life…   I want a life, with my husband, in God.  I want an identity so deeply imbedded in him that there is nothing else to define me. 

I’ve also never truly understood what it meant to be completely devoted to a man.  Even when I was engaged before, when I had given everything I knew or could manage, I didn’t understood how to give even what I don’t know and even what I can’t live without.  The respect that has seeded the love I now know, it is deeper than any lust or emotional love or, more important than that, it is deeper than any godless love.