why can't i love

Why can't i love?
It's not that i don't know how
It's not that the opportunity evades me.
I don't know what it is.
Maybe it's not what God wants
Maybe it's simply not time
I can not love
Even those i approve, those same who pursue me,
I can not love.
There is one, only one.
That one will never be.
He seems blind, but i know he is not.
That one i never see
That one is the same one that i watch
I watch as he tears his life apart.
I watch, and the more i watch the more i hurt.
That one, the only on i have ever loved.