Thursday, January 16, 2014

Hello again life


I have got to regain my personality, my independence, and my identity. 

In the past two years I have drank more than ever put together,  I have stopped going to church, I have quit pursuing the jobs I want and the career life style I love,  my husband doesn't approve of the career I want,  I have lost every single friend ive had, and I can't find joy in life.  

I've spent the past two years basing every choice on my married life,  and it has gotten me no where.  

I'm ready to start making choices based on me.  I miss being happy and I'm done giving up on that.

I can still be happy.  My husband can either support me or fight me,  but putting him as a priority has not made me happy,  so it's time I make myself a priority.  

I  am going to pursue  the  job I want and live the lifestyle I want.  I will not make my friends stand on the side line. 

It's time I remember who I  and what I want.  

Hello again life.

7 comments:

  1. Welcome back. Blog more often too, we miss it.

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    1. Thank You! I'm going to try. Life should be calming down soon and i will have the time to post. :)

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  2. Every single friend? Wow. I guess I need not wonder why you aren't replying to my texts and msgs. You're welcome for all I've done for you these past couple weeks. Best of luck.

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    1. Dave- there are some friends that you can go years with out seeing, and you'll still be best of friends..... I have half a dozen of those.

      When you have friends that you can't be friends with because you're married and have other obligations.... Even if they're still there waiting " patiently". For the day you get your shit together- they're still your friend , but you are still obligated and it will still feel like you have no friends simply because of your own actions.

      However when those people can't see that you're having trouble, and they want to throw biting words at you when you're already falling so deep you can't breath or even can't find the desire to go on living... Those people are not friends. Nore will I text Them or talk to them once I do get my shit together.

      So yes, thank you for everything.... I didn't know you were doing anything until after you told me.

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  3. Im sorry if any of my words seemed "biting". Not intended, not realized.

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  4. My face has finally healed enough to where the mirrors wont remind me of what happened, but it will be a while before i heal inside from the loss of my friends. I just wanted you to know that i forgive you and that i wish you the very best in everything you do. You always meant a lot to me =]

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    1. I'm not sure what i did to your face. But if that is just a figure of speech than it makes more sense.
      Thanks.

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