Being married takes adjusting. I knew that the man i would marry would not be someone i dated first.... which means going from single to married in a matter of months.... Now that i am finally adjusting to a life of commitment and loyalty, i can see how awesome my husband is. He is absolutely my perfect man.
One of the biggest adjustments that i had to make (and would have had to eventually make anyway) is forgiving the people of my past. There are lessons that you hear people talk about and i knew i would learn eventually, being married forced me to learn the lesson of forgiveness because you can't really move on with your life until you can let go of the past. By let go i mean forgive. I don't mean say you forgive, i don't mean kind of forgive, i don't mean you forget .... to forget is NOT to forgive. Looking at your ex and feeling better about his ugly mistress is NOT forgiveness, pushing the person you thought to be your best friend out of your mind is not forgiveness, The ONLY way to truly heal is to Truly forgive. It's not something that happens right away. It's not something that you can redefine. It's not something you can justify or reason about. It's a decision you make. It is a satisfaction in yourself. It is faith in a god bigger than yourself (because there is no way to achieve on your own). The stump i have is knowing how horrible a person it and then letting go. What is your response supposed to be when you hear their name in conversation? What is the just response?
- I believe you can dislike a person even after forgiveness is really given.... forgiveness doesn't make them a better person, it just allows you to be at peace so that you can live. The people of my past, i have finally learned to forgive.
With forgiveness, i have refound joy. I refound trust and faith. I have found life.
I am happy with my life just the way it is. Even with my past, i am happy.