Monday, April 18, 2011

a crush on personality.

I had a some what real crush on a boy we are going to name Lewis.  Now Lewis goes to church with me and hangs out with some pretty cool kids.  He loves Jesus, but hangs out like a normal person.

the other day, his neighbors told him i liked him and now i've seen a side of him that i was hoping might not exist.  I'm kind of burned out on the crush.

It is possible that he'll turn out to be the super cool kid i was hoping he is, but i'm guessing that "this kiss" (check out the song)  isn't so romantic at all.  I have a strange feeling that it is just a physical gesture or enjoyment rather than a "hey i like you too".    I have a feeling that the crush was on a kid that i thought had great standards but now that i know he doesn't have great standards i'm not sure if i still have a crush on him.....  I hope i'm just over reading things or reading things wrong because i want him to be the morable person i thought he was.

It's funny how one simple thing can decide if you like someone or not.....  
The guy i want to like is a Jesus lover who isn't up tight or traditional.  I want him to be outgoing and laidback.  I also want him to have the same morals.... morals meaning beliefs.  I don't have anything against drinking or smoking or cussing, but only in moderation.  I think premarital sex is wrong (no judgment, i don't care if anyone else does it)  and i think its on the same level as any other "sexual imorality":  aka. fooling around.  I also think we should be nice to everyone and stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves.... that's basicly the summary of my morals in a nutshell.... along with what i want in a guy.

Maybe he'll surprise me, but right now it's not looking to bright.....  my kiss doesn't seem to be anything special to him :(  

..... guess i'll go see what my girl friends are doing,   all i really want are my friends anyway.

speaking of friends:  holiday world.  yay.

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