Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Not a break from you.

I am worn out. I am exaughsted.. I am just ready for a break..
A break from it all... I need to get away from it all. All the misinterpretation and "talks".. I am tired of constantly going and going and i am tired of having to defend myself.

I said i needed some time... That means that i need time by myself, time to do what i need to in order to figure out what i want and what i need. I need to figure out who i am before i am ready to have a boyfriend... I don't want an empty relationship so if i can't put my bf as my top priority than i shouldn't have a bf. I tried to explain to him that i just need some space, but he still tells people we are dating... I love him but in order to give what he deserves i need the time to get everything out of system and figure out if i'm actually ready for the responsibility of another person, but he doesn't understand it...Everything is just like it was before we had the talk... I want him to be my friend. I don't mind if he spends the night with me [i've done that with friends when i was single] and i don't mind hanging out with him, i just need a break from the title and the formality. I love him, but thats why i need this break.

I know he's gonna read this, i hope he doesn't..... but i'm just worn out from trying to make things sugar coated for him. I need a break. i don't want a break from him, i want a break from the title.

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