Friday, October 17, 2008

comfort isn't what i'm looking for

12-2, 4-6 Those are my study hours. I will spend those 4 hours writing blogs and reminising on life. Once in a arare while i will have to get up for the occasional boat rental but generally i can spend those paid hours writing messages like this one.

I am comfortable, here in so IL. I have a steady job and a network of friends and contacts and if all else fails i am only a few minutes from the family that has always been there to back me up. But i'm not satisfied being comfortable. I want more than this. There was a time that i was an extreme church going freak. I may not be quite as gung ho about going to church as i once was, but i am still in love with God and no matter how messed up my life gets i refuse to forget who the love of my life is. God is the love of my life. When God origionally told me to move to MO I was all for it cause i knew it would bring Darren and i together. Now that Mr. Bear is no longer part of my future, Branson seems like an even stranger place. But this is what i need. .. God said go and i'm gonna go. It doesn't matter what the deal is with Bear cause thats not why i'm going - i'm going cause God said to go,. He knows best and i need the move anyway because i need something more than just southern IL. So heres the plan : I'm going full time next semester: four classes and then this summer i can take my last two classes to finish my associates and then when my lease is up in aug and i can pack up my stuff and move to the city of my dreams. In feb or march [possible during spring break] i'm gonna make a trip to set up preperations such as a job and housing. So now my plans are made and i am ready. ready to take on the world.

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