Friday, August 29, 2008

Sara Palin..

The vice president canidate for the republican John McCain. It is so strange. No one ever expected this elderly Conservative to choose a young female for his running mate. She is a supporter of gun rights and protester of abortions and she is attractive. She has the charisma that McCain is lacking and she will win many of the votes that would have orgionally gone to Clinton. Will these advantages be enough for the republicans to win? Obama has been in the picture way longer than this new name and many will be more comfortable with the name they already know. There are many that will not be fond of this new woman due to the simple fact that they know nothing about her. I have never heard her speak in my life, is she simply power hungry or is she really out to change the country? Obama puts out the effort that every leader should and he has the appeal that most middle class are looking for. I am sure many will vote for McCain simply because his running mate is a woman but there will be some with the exact opposite opinion. This will be a close fight and the gap is closing with this new introduction. I believe that the charisma that Obama carries will be what wins the nation but it is coming to a close battle as the day ticks closer.

olympic hang over

What happens when it's all over? Olypians wake up the next morning with an olympic hang over. They spend their entire lives preparing for this one moment and when it's over they are left wondering what to do now. I gave my entire life to powerlifting and now that it's over i don't know what to do. I can go on with life, but this is what my entire goal was set around. Any ex is left with the future. What will Bush do? What is Bill Gates up to? What do you strive for after it is all finished? I will finish my bucket list and experience life.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

no thankyou. ill love

Sometimes i can't help but cry. Sometimes i can't help but smile. I may not see where my life is going but i can see the destination. I don't know how i am going to get there and that hurts but i know that I can only do so much, and then i have to let it be taken by God.
There is so much that needs to be done and you have to do it, but then you have to turn around and enjoy life. Sometimes things will hurt but you have to learn to let go of those things because what are ambitions for if you can't enjoy the path along the way? I am going to change the world, but what is the point if i can't enjoy life along the way. How can i change the world if i can't hold on to hope and joy. People will frown upon me if i stop to smell the roses when i am late for work. I may not be approved of when i get a tattoo or piercing. But this is who i am and i will not stop seeing the colors of life because the day i stop looking at the stars will be the day the light goes out in life.

Bear may have broke my heart. but i will not stop smiling. It will take a while for me to love again. I may never be able to love again, but that doesn't mean i will ever stop trying. I will not let any boy decide my destiny. That is my disicion and he can only help me decide if he can prove to me that he is worthy to be part of it. As for Bear, Who needs a boy that isn't reliable? Who needs a boy that is going to break your heart? Not me. No thank you. I am to busy seeing the sound of life to let him stop my life.

Friday, August 22, 2008

To do:

Crowd surfing.
hitch hike
I got it done today. It's official. I am God's marked territory.

Tattoos

I have been talking about getting a tattoo for at least a year. Steve got his tattoo . He's not said it, but he wants me to get mine. I think he is more excited about it than i. Today is the day.. I am getting that tattoo today. Here it is, i am finally taking the plunge. It is raining outside and i still have to print of the picture before i get off work, but i am hoping my boss will print it off for me so that i can get straight to the tattoo parlor after i get off. I am kind of nervous. This is a permanent decision. Once i do this, it is done. There is no turning back. I am doing it.

This is for me. All the things people can do to me, God is the only one that will never forsake me. I Want to give myself to him. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. It doesn't matter who approves or disapproves. It doesn't matter and this is one subject that they can not persuade me off of. There is no more negotiating. I have made my decision and i will not back down. I am losing my innocence one step at a time and this is the next step. I have realized that everyone will lose their innocence sooner or later, it is part of growing up. The longer you live, the more you will experience and with that comes loss of innocence. It is not a bad thing. But it is something i've come used to and now i have to learn to accept it.

So here it is. It is today. I am putting down my promise. There is no turning back. I am giving my entire life to God and now the entire world will know. This is to freedom. This is to life. This is to love. This is for God.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

2am skateboarding.

I miss those days of random road trips and two am skateboarding. What happened to singing on the top of our lungs and laughing until it hurt? I miss those innocent crushes and rejecting random boys.

Things change and people move forward but why do we still have to leave the good times behind? When i was young we would go elevator hopping and laugh with strangers. we would check out the latest styles and if i rejected a boy it wasn't because i was scared.

I miss having hobbies and making friends. Some things have to change, but not everything. Not everything and everyone has to grow up. I want to smile. I want to laugh.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

"dance like nobody is watching, and love like it wont hurt"

But i did love once and it did hurt, it was a pain worst than any and a pain that i could never survive twice. Steven wants me to give him a chance, he sent me flowers with this message attached. I want to give him a chance; he deserves a chance, but i am scared. What if i can't control my feelings, what if i fall in love with him?
*I want to follow God but i am having trouble hearing him, perhaps it's because i am not listening. After Bear i understand why i would have trouble listening, but i need to listen to God because this is for him that i am living.
*I am going to do this. I am giving him a chance because he deserves it and i am putting everyone else out of mind. This is it, game time. Wish me luck.


I am just scared of boys. At least i am not scared to kiss them anymore, but i am still scared. I have seen what they are capable of and i know that, at their full potiential, they can do more damage than any weapon; they can hurt to kill.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

LoCash Cowboys.

Pinch was the spot of the coolest band ever last night. The show itself was amazing... the best yet, and the crowd seemed to agree. However, it was also a busy show and i hardly got to talk to Ryan. Half a dozen sentences were shared when i first came in but then they had to go get ready and then after the show He was busy packing and taking care of fans... between everything we just didn't get a chance to talk much. After the show they went back to the hotel to shower and he asked me to come hang out with him and Hooper and i went and waited about 4 minutes when we decided that we really felt like groupies with all the waiting around and all. I told him that and he said that we were defently not groupies... but it's cool... they are coming back on halloween and Ryan is hoping to get some of the planning done ahead of time so that we can hang out before the show.